An acquaintance of mine from facebook living in India wrote this powerful and deep response to the rape crisis occurring there. I m sharing here in the hope that people will read it and love it, and share it on! Thanks El x
Thus
far… and no more
-By Abhishek
Shanker Anand
A burglar breaks into a bank and says he
was “provoked” by the huge amount of money kept there.Is his explanation accepted? No. When a person is murdered, and the murderer says he was
“provoked”, is he left scot-free? No. Corporal Punishment is condemned and many
teachers who meted out inhumane punishments have been brought to book. And if they say they were provoked by
the students behaviour,is it accepted? Never.
Then why do men think it is acceptable in
the case of rape? And yet, that was the exact reaction that came from many quarters especially from policemen when the
shocking gang rape of a 23-year-old in Delhi came to light. And shockingly, most
women too, think that victims of rape and molestation bring it upon themselves.
This attitude is deeply rooted in our
patriarchal system, where the male alone gets to make all the decisions and
where the women are forced into submission and are made to believe that they
have no right to live their lives for themselves,the way they want to. And if they violate this decree, they are
asking for trouble. And what is more, the women who are submissive will force
other women too into submission.
It starts right in our families, where the
son is given more importance than a daughter, and a free reign.A boy’s bad
behavior is most likely to be dismissed “as typical of a male”. And what do we
get? We get men who think that any kind of behaviour is acceptable, including
violence, and he can get away with it, simply because he is a male. They think
it is the women who should know their limits, and not the men. And it is
certainly this attitude that exists in homes, which blames the girl entirely
and encourages such incidences in our country.
When sexual abuse occurs within a family,
the women who are closely related to the victim create a false impression that
the responsibility rests with the victim alone. This creates feelings of guilt,
depression and hopelessness in the victim, and she will find no support, even
from her own mother, to complain again the culprits. The question is, Why do we disfigure women as a form of revenge?
There are limits to a womans patience and
tolerance, and men have far exceeded these limits. It is time that women stop
taking blame for mens crimes. It is time that women realise that it is never
their fault. That they alone have the right over their bodies and dignity, and that no man has the right to touch them
even without their permission. It is time that women spoke out, fearlessly. It
is time that women were provoked, provoked to fight back.
The bystander phenomenon have gone on long
enough in India. This is a plea to all women- STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, STAND UP
FOR OTHER WOMEN. You see some girl in trouble, immediately go to her aid- each
and every woman in the crowd- reach there, mob the molester, give him a public
lesson that he will never forget. Start doing this, and you will see the
bullies cower.
A bully lasts only as long as his victim
fears him. Woman power has always been under-estimated. Power doesn’t lie in
muscles. Power lies in RETALIATING TOGETHER. This act does not need a bill to
be passed by the parliament. It needs no law to be enforced. It needs only COURAGE.
As for the so called “educated men”, who
believe that this situation is a result
of women crossing their limits in their dressing, let me remind them of
an incident in the Ramayana when Sita was abducted by Ravan and her ornaments
were shown to her husband Ram and brother in law Lakshman. Lakshman could only
identify her anklets. Because he only looked at her feet, out of RESPECT.
And this respect for women is what lacking in men today. Before you criticise
women for loosing their morals and not emulating Sita, remember that you have
lost your values and do not respect women anymore. There is still a lot to cry
over in the country, so please change the your thinking, your mentality, CHANGE YOURSELF FIRST…
contact
: abhi21anand@gmail.com
This is an important issue!! We need to stop these rapes from happening. Having gone through it myself, I have found that the victim gets so much blame and not always the person that does it. We need to raise boys and girls who respect others and their personal space. It is an epidemic that we face in all countries. We need to learn that women are not lesser than men, but equal and should be treated as such. And equipping women with the knowledge and confidence to take care of themselves and know what to do in these situations as so many don't report what happened and the perpetrator goes free. Something has to come out of this and be solved. I've read a lot about the people in India fighting back and trying to help. It's a good thing, if the government of a place won't do their duty right, the people must join forces and protect themselves. I just pray for all these poor souls who have suffered and died from their injuries, it breaks my heart, but pushes me on to try and do something to help in any way!! xx
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