Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Happiness Wednesday: Getting Over Heartbreak

Dear friends,

Today is Happiness Wednesday woop (cue the happy music!) lol. I hope you all have a happy day today. Last week I spoke about combatting our insecurities and finding self worth. And this week will be on a related topic, which is how to get over heartbreak.

If you've ever been in love or had a strong attachment to another person, you will know how hurtful and painful it can be when you break up or they leave you. I went through this myself some years ago with someone I was very much in love with. It was a very tough time for me, but I am glad to say I have come out of it stronger and wiser. At the time, all I could see was the sadness and the pain... and so if any of you are going through this, I'm going to share my advice.

1. You must forget the reasons you broke up, stop analysing them. Its over and you have to move forward in your life, they left or you broke up for a reason.

2. Heal yourself and your heart. Remember your dignity and don't run after your ex. Stay strong.... you can heal yourself in many ways. Obviously, the greatest healer of all is TIME. Time truly does give perspective and distance. But until you have the luxury of time, take bubble baths, make yourself look and feel beautiful even if inside you are breaking, chat with friends, watch TV or films you love. Most of all distract your mind.

3. If you have to focus on the pain- set yourself a time limit. Cry, punch pillows, write sad poems, sing. Do whatever it is to make you feel better and release that pain. Don't keep it all in. But don't wallow for days.. because this only serves to make your life worse. Why do that when there are so many beautiful things in the world to focus on? Find a release for your pain and move forward as best you can.

This pain may always be with you in some form. But you can suppress it, or release it and carry on with life. You are a wonderful, special individual who deserves happiness. Remember this.

4. Cut contact with your ex. I can't stress this enough. Delete their number, delete their facebook until you have found time to move forward. Maybe one day you will be friends but if its impossible, you need to move on. I found this part particularly difficult but it did me the WORLD of good.

5. Finally remember that 'This too shall pass'. You wont feel like this forever. People come into our lives for a reason and sometimes our soulmates come into our lives to enrich them or teach us a lesson and then they leave........and that is the way of life. Hold on to those lessons.

Lastly, some thoughts from India Arie,

 'I have learned that fear and love don't match.

I have learned that there is nothing unacceptable about me when I have the courage and self love to accept everything about me. So will Another.

I have learned you must let things and people go to really enjoy them being in
your life.

I have learned that it only takes a moment to react out of love.

I have learned that sometimes people come in our lives to go and therein lies the lesson.

I have learned that honesty means being honest with me first.

I have learned that sex with the wrong person is horrible, but sex with the right person is exquisite! There is fulfillment in waiting.

I have learned that I must seize the day.

I have learned that my mother is a human being and a woman just like me and that I have things to teach her too.

I have learned that love doesnt make relationships last....

That is the secret of life,to get up and try again. Without love we are nothing. Keep the faith and open your heart to try again. To all those who have yet to have your heart cracked open, may this collection of songs show you the beauty in the complexity of the journey of love.

I have learned that it aint like the movies, its so much better.

And most of all I have learned that even in the darkest hour. This too shall pass.

India Arie.

I used to hate hearing the words 'Move on'... its ok to feel shattered, to feel weak but you need to find your inner strength.... 
Stay strong, stay dignified, stay powerful, stay YOU- the greater, wiser and more informed you..

Happy Wednesday xxxxxxx


  1. I agree with your advice :)

    When I broke up with my ex I spent two days crying in my room... then I got on with my life :) As humans we need time to mourn, but we also have to remember that we were able to live before they arrived in our lives, so we will be able to live after they leave our lives.

  2. These are all such good tips! I have definitely been there and it is so hard, but this is great advice. Especially #4- cut off contact. It was hard, like you said, but way healthier than the alternative!

  3. Very wise and inspired advice. This is one of the hardest life lessons to learn.



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